Spencer Beach - January 31, 1982

Spencer worked in Public Relations for the New York Public Library and coined the phrase, "Please feed the lions," as part of a fundraising campaign. He was enormously bright. His first career was teaching and he was on the tenure-track at George Washington University, until his name appeared in the paper following a raid. Yes, there were raids; yes, they published names in the papers; and yes, your resignation was expected, and if not, you could expect to be fired. This meant not only losing a job, but losing the means of employment. It often meant moving to a large city and starting over from scratch.

I met Spencer at an Al-Anon meeting and he became by sponsor. He was one of those wonderful anonymous people who was both friend and mentor, and who made Al-Anon and AA into a community of fellowship.

Spencer was also one of the first fifty cases studied by the CDC to define what was to become AIDS - acquired immuno-deficiency syndrome. He died of KS, Kaposi's Sarcoma. At the time I recall feeling upset, but at least hopeful. After all, the CDC was involved now. The resources of the federal government were being put in place and a cure would be forthcoming soon.

Carl Lorenzen - January 23, 1992

Carl Lorenzen - what a handsome man. He was a favorite at Uncle Charlie's Restaurant. Full of all the earnest energy of a midwestern transplant to the big city. He must have been all of 30 when he died and just figuring out who his real friends were.

Bruce Thomsett - January 15, 1987

Bruce come to St Luke's from his ministry in the Lutheran Church. We worked together on a couple of committees and projects including an early AIDS Response Report for the parish. It included the recommendations for the Saturday Night Dinner Program and hospital visits to St Vincent's Hospital.

Rob Berray - January 11, 1995

Rob was the first-born son of Vera and Robert Berray of Millbrook, N.Y., graduate of St Andrew's School in Delaware and Wharton Business School. He was also the ex- of my ex-, Joe McCormick. Rob seemed to follow me around: I took him to a NYCGMC concert, he joined up; I took him to the LURE, he bought leather pants; I moved to 23rd St, he moved to 23rd Street. He even followed me to church at St. Luke's and became an acolyte. And yet he was still tied to Joe. It seems funny now, but not so much then, my last conversation with him went something like this:

"Rob, in the world in which I want to live, my best friend does not have dinner with my ex-lover on my birthday and completely blow me off."

"Why don't you call me back when you're feeling better..."

I guess I never got to feeling better. I really thought he was a decent guy - if not a great friend.

Francis Eato - January 5, 1988

Francis was a street person who stumbled into the Saturday Night Dinner Program at St Luke's. He was living pretty much hand to mouth; room to room in the village. I believe he used to work the Holland and Lincoln Tunnel relieving husbands and boyfriends on their way home to the 'burbs. While that sounds demeaning, what you saw in Francis was not the tacky dress or the tattered jeans, but the enormous stamina it takes to live on the streets of New York.

Before the dinner, those that wanted to would go into the sanctuary for some prayer and blessing. Francis was one who started here and then came to the high mass on Sunday. On those occasions you would see a man radiant with love and gratitude for an open hand at the altar. He was good for St Luke's in our totally white-waspiness.

There was no uncertain controversy about the food program at St Luke's. It started as a recommendation from a group of 3 of us who were appointed by the Rector to come up with ideas to respond to the crisis. Hospitality was a clear path for us and Saturday night was the night most people went without food, so it was a natural mix. It was short-sighted of the Wardens and Vestry to think this would pass muster from the School Board and the parents, however, but that's another story of intolerance, fear and fully-cognizant irrationality.

Hal Mozley - December 14, 1987

Hal was designer and window dresser. He did windows for many fine shops around town and decorated my apartment on 11th Street: very slick, very fab. He had that kind of talent that comes from being raised in the south together with the knowledge of 'fine things' and the modesty to still have his grandmother's feather bed. It was the only piece of furniture that she held onto during the depression. His love and knowledge of fine things came in very handy when he had to go broke.

In order to qualify for SSD, you had to appear broke, so people started hiding their assets. Hal cut a deal with an antiques shop on Greenwich Avenue - he bought $30,000 worth of antiques: silver, ceramics, jewelry, books. And whenever he needed cash he'd go down to the 'bank' and cash in a bijou. It worked out well~!

Hal attended to St Luke's. It was a welcome and healing place for many, especially those ravaged as much by religion as by AIDS. I can see him now: fourth pew right of center, jacket & tie; very southern, very proper. Hal got sick in the early days of AIDS and for him it was AZT every four hours. I remember many people on that hateful regimen. You could set your watch by it, promptly at 12:00 noon his pill box would go off and he would faithfully down his 4 tabs of AZT.

Hal went to the hospital once for PCP. When he was released from the hospital, he had a Porta-Cath. This was a brilliant improvement over the Hickman catheter which just hung out of the arm or chest, always getting infected. The Porta-Cath was a bulb-like device set under the skin on the ribs that drained into the sub-clavicular vein. It made it easy to take IV drugs and simple injections. You just set the injection to the Porta-Cath site. In Los Angeles, they would have them placed on the hip bone so the tell-tale bulb would be hidden under the Speedo line on the beach. I helped him a few times with the procedure, easy really, once you got used to it. They even made pressurized balls to contain the infusions.

As easy as treatments were to give, they were very harsh on the patient, and they made it easier to stay out of the hospital. Hal made Bill Donahue and I promise to keep him out of the hospital for the duration. He gave us medical power of attorney and showed the documents to each of his visiting healthcare workers. It was pretty common in those days: should a crisis arise, the healthcare worker could call the patients medical representative instead of 911. Of course you had to be there within minutes and often patients went back into emergency rooms against their wishes. I got several calls from Hal's home before the last one.

Notes on Bactrim - 15-20 mg/kg/day. Side effects include: Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); blistered, peeling, red, or swollen skin; bloody or black, tarry stools; chest pain; chills, fever, or sore throat; decreased urination; depression; hallucinations; irregular heartbeat; joint or muscle pain; painful or stiff neck; purple patches under the skin; seizures; severe diarrhea; severe or persistent cough; severe or persistent headache; severe or persistent nausea or vomiting; shortness of breath; stomach cramps/pain; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual tiredness or weakness; unusually pale skin; vaginal irritation or discharge; yellowing of the skin or eyes.

Alan Brooks - November 20, 1990

Alan was handsome enough to be called beautiful: dark wavy hair sweeping back; naturally athletic body, skin maintained by Georgette Klinger. He was the first man I know who had facials regularly at the beginning each season. He was on the rebound from an affair with Joseph Iaccobucci when we met. I was not, however, invited to dine on his famous fuck-chicken. This was a meal designed for seduction, leaving the guest appetized and ready for the main course: Alan. He served it quite often.
We dated for a while and spent a week together in St Martin, idyllic if not particularly serious. Being in real estate, he was more interested in the Hampton's Crowd and had a mentor our there.